Transitions Part 26: “Higher Learning”

March 15, 2016 at 5:55 pm (abiding, Assurance, Battling, chastisement, correction, Devoted To My Daughter, Devoted To My Son, Devotional Thoughts., Discernment, Faith, Forgiveness, Grace, Guidance, Healing, Home Education, Homeschooling, Hope, Judging, Life, Lighter Burdens., Love, Marriage, Mercy, Our Unchanging God, Parenting, Patience, Peace, Praise, Provision, refuge, Relaxed Homeschooling, Repentance, Restoration, self-esteem, Sovereignty of God, strengthening, Suffering, Thanksgiving, Transformation., Transitions ( Where I am, where I have been...the happenings of my life), Trusting, Truth, value, Veteran Homeschoolers, When you are afraid, When you feel bitter, When You Feel Like Crying., Wisdom, worth)

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Scripture reference;

“ Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:16 KJV

Yesterday was such a beautiful day. The day before that we had storms that produced some tornadoes in our state, but a day later it was sunny; a beautiful spring day.

I went for a walk with my husband on the college campus here in our town. It is such a lovely place. We both were enrolled there a few years ago, but my husband’s glaucoma and a few other eye issues began to give him a lot of trouble, so we both ended up dropping out. It was wonderful while it lasted. I remember this day. I was so proud of him, and I still am.

And here is a picture my daughter took of me in a book store. I had just gotten my first pair of glasses, and was trying to look scholarly.  🙂

Both my daughter and I were freshman in college, and my husband was a sophomore. Our son was not officially enrolled, but was at the campus library a good deal of the time studying for the GMAT exam in hopes of getting in on a PhD program. All four of us were living together in our little house that has less than 1,200 square feet, and my husband was also still working part-time at his job at a local restaurant, an amazing feat when you consider his age and physical limitations.

Here are a few more pictures from that chapter of our lives.

Here is a link to a descriptive essay I wrote about a Crepe Myrtle named Raina Colette during my first semester:  https://pronetoponder.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/raina-colette-my-very-first-college-descriptive-essay/

Sometime later I wrote a poem titled “Raina”. You can read it here:  https://serenadedinseconds.wordpress.com/2013/08/13/raina-a-poem/

In the years that have followed we have experienced some really hard things. Still, the Lord has been so faithful through it all. He loves His children with an unfailing love, and will always be glad when we call on Him.

When I consider just how sinful I can be it amazes me that He has continued to help me, and show me in so many ways that He loves me.

I read a post at a friend’s blog yesterday that inspired me. It said:

“Don’t Judge another’s story by the chapter you walked in on.”

Natalie’s blog is a place where you will find comfort, encouragement, and inspiration. You really should visit there. Here is the link to the post that I read:  http://sacredtouches.com/2016/03/14/dont-judge/

The quote was thought provoking. We really should take that advice to heart. We should also be careful to avoid judging our own story that way. I understand that we need to be honest, and confess our sins to the Lord, and acknowledge our own role in our experiences, but I tend to allow past canceled sins to haunt me, and that is not what the Lord wants me or anyone else to do. I need to work on that. We need to learn to let go. We need to see how the Lord sees us, and look at ourselves the same way.

“Behold, for peace I had great bitterness: but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.” Isaiah 38:17 KJV

“Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord.

² Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.

³ If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?

⁴ But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.

⁵ I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

⁶ My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

⁷ Let Israel hope in the Lord: for with the Lord there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.

⁸ And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities.” Psalm 130 KJV

“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

² Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.

³ When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.

⁴ For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.

⁵ I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.

⁶ For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.

⁷ Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.” Psalm 32:1-7 KJV

I still struggle with bouts of spiritual amnesia where the Lord will show me beautiful things that speak to my situation(s), and also show me who I am in the His eyes, but I am prone to quickly forget. This brings me a huge amount of anguish and stress. Recently I found myself once again in the ER and leaving with the same diagnosis…”Panic Disorder”. I have decided to go for counseling.  I wrote an entire series on Psalm 40 back in 2010 (the year before I began college). It was my therapy during that season of panic attacks.

I hope my transparency won’t let any of my readers down. I just want to be honest and hopefully help anyone out there who might have similar struggles.

Here is a link to a post I wrote that I try to remember:

Defining Moments

So here I am doing the best that I can. I work part-time one-on-one with adults who have developmental disabilities in a supportive living situation. It is a rewarding job. I still see myself as a student of “higher learning”, though, and am eager to watch as the Lord fills in the pages of my story.

“¹ Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

² Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2 KJV

Do you know Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord?  Please clickhere:https://pronetoponder.wordpress.com/category/about-salvation-very-important-words/ and make sure.

Do you have a Bible? If you don’t have one, you need not worry. Just click here:www.biblegateway.com They have many versions and translations of the Bible that you can read. Some of the best things in life are free!